God: I didn’t come to earth and die so that you could still carry any amount of shame.
The cross is not meant to be a reminder of your own shame.
Joshua: I felt like I was taught “you’re bad. But Christ died for you, so that God can live in denial, pretending that you’re good. But you’re still bad. And the best you do is still bad. But if God does something for you, it’s good, but pray you have no part in it, or you’ll screw it up.”
God: “I am the way, the truth, and the life”. Such a claim seems contradictory.
Truth and life are often treated as contradictory. “If you know how bad you are, you’ll hate yourself for the rest of your life”—that’s how my people are treated. Let us get to a better root.
I could argue “you’re saved”, “you’re redeemed”, “you have no reason to feel shame anymore”. The problem is, that’s not where your lie sits. I’d be arguing the wrong thing. “I am the way”. If I were only the truth, but not the way, I would risk being misapplied truth.
You are saved. You are redeemed. And you have absolutely no reason to feel shame.
But that’s like giving you a blood transfusion, while your heart’s not beating. We need to get your heart beating.
A blood transfusion may be needed. Let’s get your heart beating first.
Joshua: Okay. So how do we do this?
(I see God lean over and blow into my face. I feel a bit unsure why. I suddenly remember what it felt like playing as a kid)
God: Joshua, question: is joy the irresponsible fruit of the spirit?
Joshua: Well…
God: Okay, let me ask you another way.
Did I make kids to have joy, or to learn how to work?
Joshua: Well, the point of human beings—
God: Okay, stop right there. (shaking his head) Why are you talking like this is a scientific explanation? We’re already off-track. You are acting as if I am missing the point. I did not ask about “human beings”—the entire human populace. Answer my question. Drop the dissertation.
Joshua: Okay. You… didn’t make them for either.
God: (leans in, smiling) Which is closer to truth, in your heart?
Joshua: It doesn’t matter. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.
God: (sighs) Be honest. If you aren’t willing to be honest, we’ll never get anywhere.
Joshua: I don’t wanna be wrong. (long pause while I stare at God and try to clam up my emotions) Fine, whatever! Um… people were made to work. So kids were made to learn how to work. The goal for any kid, is to become a valuable member of society.
God: (throws up his hands a bit) Which one?
Joshua: Which society?
God: (nods)
Joshua: Well…
God: Stop right there. (leans in) Do you understand? You are part of the kingdom of heaven. When someone becomes my kid, did I make them to have joy, or to learn how to work?
Joshua: To learn how to work!
God: No. If that were the goal, legalism would be enough. Grinding people into powder would be good ethics instead of abuse. The fruit of the spirit, if you’ll notice, is oddly lacking in results. The kind of results you care about.
The fruit of the spirit doesn’t include: building a profitable business. Winning souls. Bar graphs. A growing list of accomplishments. It’s all heart issues.
If the heart issues aren’t resolved, then the gospel is pointless. You are not, in actuality, better off. The heart issues being resolved are what I died for. I didn’t die so people could be ground into powder with me to blame, I died so people could live.
I certainly want you to have success. But it starts with the heart. My greatest win isn’t what you do with your hands, but what I do with your heart.
Winning souls for a gospel that hasn’t changed you yet is folly. If it isn’t “the power of God”, then whose power is it? And if it isn’t my power, you are not inviting people into my power. To be a sincere preacher of the gospel, you must sincerely experience it.
“Winning souls”, as you define it, “number go up”. I would rather you be a sincere beacon of my truth, than to divert people into an inferior, fake gospel that Paul himself spoke strongly in opposition of.
Until you sincerely experience my good gospel. You are doomed to lead people into a false one.
So let me go back to the lie. You believe the fruit of the spirit is wholly unproductive.
Which means we are not on the same page.
Be serious: would you rather a new believer come to you, saying, “I’ve never been this happy in my entire life”, or “I brought a new person to Christ”.
Do you want the results that I died for, or an inferior gospel to be preached?
Joshua: Well… in my mind, if more people get into heaven, but don’t experience your goodness—
(I see God holding up his hand to signal “stop”)
God: Blasphemy. You want people to hold off on my goodness until their death? You would rather people live miserable lives, devoid of all the good things that I promised, so they can get to heaven? Did I not die for relationship? Would you deprive me of the relationship I died for until people come to heaven? Then you are depriving me of what I died for.
I died to have relationship. If you say “they’ll get relationship when they die”, you are acting in opposition to me. You are not saying “Jesus died for relationship”, because I loved the world, but rather that I died so that they could keep waiting to experience my goodness.
People already want the goodness I hold. If you would rather a new believer make new converts but lose me, do you truly hold any grasp on the gospel?
Joshua, I say all this, not to shame you, but to help you see: what I want for the new believer, I want for you too. You’ve been told “enjoy God’s goodness, then get to work”. Excuse me? “Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life”. It is not meant to end “when you understand heaven well enough”. That is stating my goodness has an expiration date.
You view the gospel like your country. At first, the youngest children are left to play, and to have fun. Then, the focus shifts rapidly: you must learn to be a productive citizen of society. Yes, you’ll have fun during breaks, but we all know the breaks are just a waste of time.
“If we could eliminate recess, we would”. Yet what I died for can be displayed more prominently on a playground then on a syllabus. Teaching is excellent. But, in your own mind, anything other than class time is wasted time.
You need to understand what I died for. You just keep finding twists and interpretations that let you push the same ideals you hold outside of my teaching. Which means, you are twisting my word to meet your end.
The fruit of the spirit isn’t wasted time. Did I waste time growing it? It is the fruit of my spirit.
In your mind, all that I desire is wasted time. The truth is, the economy I have in place breaks your ideal. I did not pay “reasonable cost” by dying for you. It was absolutely worth it to me, and it wasn’t even something I had to weigh. If you think I died to fill an assembly line, then you are operating in your cultural mindset instead of the mindset of heaven.
I’m not trying to launch a pyramid scheme. “Convert two people, who will convert two more, who will convert two more! Then I will tell you in heaven ‘well done, good and faithful servant!’” This kind of thinking is more akin to what I said to the Pharisees: traveling and travailing to win one follower, then doubling your corruption within them! That is the true doubling happening in “Pyramid Scheme Evangelism”.
In the book of Acts, thousands were added in a day. Because I spoke through people. I displayed my power. Quit trying to make a formula out of the power of the creator of the universe. Do you really think that my intention is for you to put my power through a lab, dilute it, and apply it oh-so-carefully to your own training material? I am the greatest trainer. I teach you what to say. Diluting my gospel, is not my gospel. That’s what Paul wrote the letter of Galatians about.
Joshua: God, this is harsh.
God: (leans in, smiling) Is it? Or are you uncomfortable?
Joshua: …I’m uncomfortable.
God: Tell me how you feel, but be honest. Confessing sin includes false mindsets. But sometimes, we need a straightforward conversation.
Joshua: …Can I just sense your presence and ignore your correction?
God: Why? (laughing)
Joshua: …I feel shame.
God: That is because you don’t believe you have the same blessing as the new believer. We are returning to that now.
New believers have grace. But you were taught that at some point, the new believer’s grace ends, and they must get to work. The only way you can believe that is if you follow the path that Paul spoke loudly against in the book of Galatians.
(I start to tear up)
Joshua: …It sounds too good to be true. I was taught. I actually remember hearing about how things are so easy for the new believer, but then the rubber hits the road.
God: (shakes his head) While it is true that I protect people, and that I may pause trouble from coming for them to process, it is not true that I lessen my protection as you grow in your maturity.
If that were true, Jesus should have had no protection as he walked the earth. Yet he continually stated “my time has not yet come”, and avoided crowds that wanted to kill him. Only when it was the right time did he permit the crowd to come and kill him. The only way he was crucified was by his own permission.
That is the power that dwells in you. That does not mean you will not have trouble—but take heart.
“I have overcome the world” is not only for the new believer. It applied to me, being without sin, and it applies to those following me.
If you try “to win converts”, but you haven’t been transformed, you are not preaching the gospel. Wisdom is justified by her children. Let it be justified in you.
Joshua: …God, I like all this. How do I accept it?
God: “I am the way, the truth, and the life”. Do not accept the way as men taught it. Do not accept the truth as men dilute it. Do not accept the life as men lived it. The way is narrow. Let us pick at this lie with ease:
The root of all this goes back to a very simple experience. When did you first learn that grace was lifted? That was a lie, but lies are learned.
Joshua: …I feel like I kinda remember something, but I’m not sure. Like “you’re an older kid, you should know better”. There was always this understanding that little kids could play, big kids had to work… that was just the way that society operated.
God: (nods) And yet… if you consider what I offer, I flip it. “You must become like little children” to enter the kingdom of God. I never said “you must become like big kids”. To your point: maturity does not mean you quit enjoying me.
Joshua: God, was there a single thing? A single experience?
God: Joshua, remember how curriculum changed as you moved from preschool to kindergarten? And in general, you disliked the curriculum as you got older. You dreaded dissection when you entered high school. Certain courses scared you. You had no interest. But they were put on you.
They weren’t bad. Learning about things you are uncomfortable with is part of living.
But you still learned: as you get older, the lessons get worse.
Unfortunately, church experience often mirrored this. Worship in children’s church didn’t mirror worship in adult’s church—kids would have fun, adults would follow along. Fun in adult church, in your interpretation, was “disallowed”.
Your educational system doesn’t mirror mine. The fruit grows. Life becomes more fun. More peaceful. Not because the problems are easier, but because my fruit grows.
You remember some very good high school classes. You almost wondered if it was permitted. But those were, in reality, extremely healthy examples of high school classes!
This is not my process:
- Keep things easy
- Introduce more complicated curriculum
- Make it more complex, reduce the downtime
- Move you into a brand new environment, with the purpose of graduating with a ministry
- You die
Quit putting your educational system on mine. I am your teacher. I lead you into all truth. In your culture, you spend over a decade preparing to enter the workforce.
In my kingdom? When my power comes upon you, you can astonish much more learned people. My kingdom makes things “not fair”. Simon the Sorcerer was awed by people who had not studied sorcery, but had walked with me.
My power usurps human training. And often, in the course of training, I must untrain. The path your culture takes to enter the workforce isn’t my way. What is the way?
I am.