Jesus: You struggled to like you. So you let a layer of “feeling dirty”—SHAME—cover all of you.
Shame covered up how much you dislike you. Rather than face “I don’t like me”, you let the evidence of other people disliking you be the proof by which you’d erase you.
None of that is of me. I died for you. Yes—the old man is dead. But also—you are alive.
This was an impenetrable wall. Fortunately, I happen to be an expert at breaking down walls.
I could go through a list of “why don’t you like you?” and try to build up good, clear evidence of why you ought to like yourself. But the problem is this: you’re already out of logic. If I try to use logic when you’re not working in the realm of logic, it will do absolutely nothing.
Fortunately, I know where you are.
It’s like your own bunker. But it’s where you hate you. But why do you hate you? Because you’re trying to save part of you.
You are afraid. Afraid that liking part of you negates this part of you.
As a little kid, you told other little kids “you’re going to hell!” That certainly wasn’t of me. But conviction, a desire for reality, and a drive to speak out truth are all traits that are from me.
You were told not to talk to other kids like that. That was good advice. The problem: you learned that all sin was damnable. So what you heard was: “If you tell other kids they’re going to hell, you’re going to hell.” If an eye causes you to sin, “gouge it out and throw it away”. You thought your conviction was causing you to sin, and you didn’t want to be thrown in the fires of hell.
That’s a lot for a toddler to process. But you were determined. You were just determined with the mind of a toddler.
So opinion-sharing, in your own mind, if you were corrected, was a damnable offense.
You translated the advice as: “You’re right. But sharing the truth is offensive, and that’s bad. You’re going to hell for telling the truth.”
Let me tell you a few things:
- I determine who goes where. I give you enough data where you can figure it out, but hearing one action from an individual and assuming you know their standing with me is completely unhealthy. You have no idea from hearing what TV show another toddler watches whether or not they’ll spend eternity with me! That was the issue.
- Sharing the truth in love is part of the equation. Just sharing truth is considered “love”. Then how is this relevant?: if all that was required was truth-telling, how can someone know the mysteries of the universe but have not love? Knowing all without love is not love. Knowledge and love, while they can be together, are not bound. In me, they are. But it is possible for a person to walk in knowledge but not love.
- Conviction is faith. “Without faith it is impossible to please God”. Conviction in who I am, and what I say, is good! But you had very limited, very unbiblical understanding of me. You took one trait, made it all of me, and made it a ledger to attack other toddlers with. That was because you were a toddler. No—I didn’t expect you to have a Master’s of Biblical Study as a toddler.
That conviction is beautiful. It was just immature. “You will find love combined with truth”. I told you this.
Truth in love. That saves people.
I love this part of you, Joshua. I died for the part of you that condemned other toddlers to hell. I want that part of you to mature—but that isn’t required for me to love you.
You could’ve lived your entire life condemning people to hell. That would’ve done more damage than not speaking up. In your culture, that’s not what most people need to hear.
You are not only permitted, you are commanded to hold onto truth. Enjoy your conviction. That’s one of the beautiful traits—if not often immature—of the culture you were brought up in.
Conviction combined with sincere love is one of the best ways to bring people in to a conversation about me. People want love. Conviction is what led me to the cross, Joshua. Conviction is a beautiful thing.
When your conviction, in all its immature authenticity, finds love in me, you will grow in love exponentially. Conviction isn’t counter to love; it gives love action.
“You will find love combined with truth”. You won’t be running around condemning people to hell. That’s about as helpful as warning people they need to move because an earthquake is coming in 40 years. If heaven is so great, give people a taste of heaven. If it isn’t, then why are you telling people they should be concerned about where they end up?
So you need to taste more of heaven. “The kingdom of heaven is at hand”. That means a lot.
Why is there such an emphasis on hell? Heaven is so good that if hell were benign, it should be disregarded for heaven anyway.
Don’t peddle fear of hell. Share free samples of the kingdom of heaven.